Sandy P Sandy P's Family
I was born in Buffalo, New York. I am the youngest child of three children. I am also an adult child of an alcoholic family. When I was 5 years-old, we moved to Snellville, Georgia. My father had worked for a large telecommunications company and got transferred there. At this time I was very close to my mother's family, and it was very hard to leave them. They brought a sense of normalcy to my family.
I can always remember being afraid of my father's anger. I can also remember always feeling less then. I never felt "normal". During my school years, I can also remember hanging out with the kids that were not interested in school and their future. I started acting out at a young age. I can say that I never drank alcohol or did drugs during my school years. I did take up with the wrong boys and of course they were the future alcoholics of America.
When I was 25, I got in a car accident and was put on pain medicine. I can remember my first 'high"; for the first time I felt normal. I felt good. I did not hear those negative thoughts in my head telling me I can't. The drugs told me that I could. So now instead of just being around men that abused substances, I joined them.
I believe I was born an addict. When I started to abuse drugs my addiction brought me to my knees very quickly. See I soon needed such a large amount of pills I started to obtain them illegally. I would write fake prescriptions. Let’s just say that it did not take long for me to get caught. At the time I had a career that dealt with a lot of travel, and I was with a Fortune 500 company. I lost that job. My family spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to prevent me from incarceration. See, I would get caught and then do it again; buy my way out then start it again. My addiction brought me to insanity. I was checked into so many expensive hospitals, always to get right out and do the same thing.
In 2004 I became pregnant. I got married to a wonderful man that for some reason saw things in me that I did not see myself. In 2006 I had another child. I managed to stay sober for four years. The whole time I was back to feeling not "right". Today, I feel like I was just bidding my time till my next pill. My young son was born a sick child. I had to have my gallbladder removed. The excuses I needed to return right back to my active addiction. Only a woman that is addicted can understand that no matter how much they loved their kids and family. The drugs consume your life.
In 2008 I got in trouble with the law once again. I was out of control. I would pray for death. I got on my knees and told the Lord that I did not want to live, if this was how I was going to continue to live. I was no good to anyone. I did not know how to live.
The Lord answered my prayers; he brought me to Promise of Hope. For the first time in my life I was taught how to live. I was taught for to forgive. I was taught that I always had a Father with me—my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that I don't deserve my life today. But God's grace has saved me.
Today, as I write this I am about to celebrate my two years of being drug free. I am writing this and looking at my precious children who love me. Most of all today I am able to love them the way that they deserve to be loved. I was taught what love is. I feel "right" today. Promise of Hope saved my life. I like to say that I was born in Buffalo New York, raised in Snellville Georgia, but I grew up in Dudley Georgia in a house, on a farm, with a lot of girls and a lot of tough love.
Sandy P.